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埃默里大學(xué)招生官公開6篇優(yōu)秀申請(qǐng)文書+招生官點(diǎn)評(píng),趕緊收藏!

2022-05-26

來源:

小編: 225
摘要:
美國(guó)大學(xué)申請(qǐng),除了GPA、班級(jí)排名,標(biāo)化成績(jī)這些之外,更重要的就是文書和推薦信了,換句話說硬件是只能幫申請(qǐng)者敲開大學(xué)的大門,能否錄取,大概率要看文書是否能夠打動(dòng)招生官,因此,文書創(chuàng)作,是每一個(gè)申請(qǐng)者在申請(qǐng)季工作的重中之重。

文書的主要任務(wù)就是通過文章來彰顯你的個(gè)性和獨(dú)特性。那么什么樣的文書才是好文書呢?“一千個(gè)讀者就有一千個(gè)哈姆雷特”每個(gè)人都會(huì)有自己的見解,但這都不重要,重要的是招生官怎么認(rèn)為。

為了讓大家對(duì)文書創(chuàng)作有更清晰的認(rèn)知,埃默里大學(xué)的招生官為新一屆申請(qǐng)者分享往年申請(qǐng)者的優(yōu)秀Personal Statment,用以說明一份好的PS可以涉及各種主題,但最終要展示學(xué)生的性格、好奇心和聲音。這幾篇PS被選中的原因各不相同,因此都附上了招生官的點(diǎn)評(píng)。

文書一:探索問題的一面

Essay題目:Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

I tap my red pen inattentively against the draft sitting before me. After some silent musing, I finally drag a line of ink through a phrase and reword it in small, loopy letters above. As a final thought, I circle the space between two words. My writer forgot the Oxford comma. Again.

The Oxford comma is the comma used after the penultimate item in a list. I learned about this majestic piece of punctuation at an early age and wondered how anyone could advocate against it. How could anything that adds so much clarity, while requiring so little effort, be controversial? When I joined my school’s newspaper in sophomore year and learned that AP style does not use the comma, I was shocked. Therefore, when I became Managing Editor my senior year, my first initiative was reinstating it.

Others might find this to be a trivial concern, but you know what they say about the devil: he lives in the details. It is part of my personal philosophy that details are the most essential part of any plan or project; they are what separates the bad from the good, and the good from the great. Details are vital to my work as a copy editor. Occasionally, writers groan when they hear that I will be the one editing their story, but that’s how you know you’re doing a good job.

An effective copy editor will do more than correct punctuation: they’ll detect structural problems and predict questions that readers will ask so the writer can answer them. Writers may not love having to make so many changes, but they finish the news cycle with a product they are proud of.

My attention to details, like that elusive comma, does more than make me a good worker: it makes me a good communicator. I listen carefully to people, to details, and I think they matter. I like to share my own opinions through writing and photography, but more than that, I like to share the stories of others. This past summer, I had the opportunity to meet a number of community workers and write about them for the regional newspaper. I got to meet and tell the stories of a couple who owned one of the last free community pools and taught kids to swim without taking out a salary, and a woman in her twenty-second year of running a volunteer event which grants underprivileged children access to new clothes and school supplies. Being able to give these local heroes the spotlight they deserved was more rewarding than I could have ever expected.

What makes me unique is that I don’t just notice details, I care about them. I think clarity of communication is the most vital and most neglected aspect of a functional society. That is why I believe journalism and communication are important. You can’t move someone who is stuck in their ways by spouting facts and figures at them. You convince people by telling stories, stories that appeal to our shared humanity.

Reporting is community building, and we definitely need more of that in this day and age. By listening to details and sharing observations, I can sometimes help two people who were not able to find common ground see past their differences. I believe this is an important part of being on the newspaper staff and even of being a good friend. And that is why I care about communication, and by extension, the Oxford comma



招生官點(diǎn)評(píng)

作為招生官,我們有時(shí)喜歡將申請(qǐng)視為一個(gè)故事。申請(qǐng)的每一部分——成績(jī)單、論文、推薦信——都集中在一起,給出了一個(gè)深入的例子,說明每個(gè)學(xué)生是誰(shuí),以及是什么在個(gè)人和學(xué)術(shù)上激勵(lì)了他們。

通過該學(xué)生的申請(qǐng),很明確的感受到學(xué)生對(duì)新聞和講故事的熱情。他能夠利用像牛津逗號(hào)爭(zhēng)議這樣平凡的東西來背景化他們的優(yōu)勢(shì)并詳細(xì)闡述兩個(gè)有意義的經(jīng)歷——作為學(xué)校報(bào)紙的執(zhí)行編輯和作為當(dāng)?shù)貓?bào)紙的實(shí)習(xí)生。他不會(huì)像已經(jīng)提供的簡(jiǎn)歷那樣簡(jiǎn)單地列出他們的成就,也不會(huì)講述一個(gè)單一的故事來解釋他們的觀點(diǎn)。他使用牛津逗號(hào)無縫地編織了一個(gè)敘述,從而使學(xué)生的興趣變得生動(dòng)起來。

這篇文章幫助我們作為招生委員會(huì)更好地了解申請(qǐng)人的整體情況。如果沒有這篇文章,這個(gè)學(xué)生的故事將是不完整的。

文書二:講述具有挑戰(zhàn)性的事件

Essay題目:Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, please share your story.

For the first three years of my life, my name was not Omar. In secret it was, but in secret was no way to live. To the world, I was decidedly to be a stranger to my own name. In public my family called me by a name eerily similar to mine: “Ammar.” I cried out and corrected them each time, only to be slapped on the mouth and sternly ordered to bite my tongue. Eyes wickedly stared on from behind the shadows, and slowly our public outings became less and less frequent, until my every request to play outside was decisively denied. I whined and begged, but the decision was as unyielding as their towering stance above me.

Only years later would I come to understand that they were merely protecting me from the encompassing shadows stalking behind. Only then would I come to understand the extent of the bitter religious clash between Islam’s two branches, Sunni and Shia.

Following the fall of Iraq in 2003, tensions turned deadly and rules ceased. Several names of religious significance effectively became death sentences. My name was one of those death sentences. I was marked by a conflict I was too young to comprehend.

Uncertainty turned to fear when the looming threat of violence came in the form of a death threat to my father. Soon, family and community members became targets of an inconceivable evil; a friend of the family was murdered for aiding displaced Sunni Iraqis; a bombing rocked my brother’s school and shattered his innocence into a million shards. We were targets, and my identity was a possible catalyst provoking evil into harming those protecting me from wicked eyes.

My family decided that remaining in Iraq was no longer an option. So, one day in 2006, under the cover of night, we took what little possessions we could carry into our cars and fled across the border. When complete disorder and conflict led to intensified bloodshed, our hopes of one day returning to our homeland were dashed and left broken.

Jordan became our new refuge; my name was returned to me, yet in the chaos and uncertainty, I had lost my country and people. I traded my home for a refuge. My accent, alien to the other children, drew in laughter. My nationality, different and frowned upon, resulted in new pairs of condescending eyes which gazed beyond my humanity towards my parents’ lives. Their grueling toil generated minimal income as perceptions of refugees engendered no empathy among the hiring class. I had within my grasp my own name, my identity, yet I felt more like a stranger than when I donned another name.

Ammar was human, I was not. Ammar had a home, I lost mine. Here, I had none but my family and they had none but me.

Years of acting out at home and school passed. Yet in 2013, a phone call from our cousins in America fundamentally changed my life: “Your UN file got accepted!” cheery faces announced, “We will be seeing you in a week.” The sheer excitement I felt at that moment was only contrasted with the sadness that overcame me two days before departure: sadness of a life unfinished. I had to move. Again.

Relocation had once disturbed my pursuit for identity. Now it does nothing short of offer me an opportunity to explore a future in which I set what defines my character.

We landed. On our way from the airport, I rested my head onto the window of the van and dreamed of what I hoped to accomplish. Despite the perversions suffered in Iraq and Jordan, I adapted. I can do it again. Yes, I lost my country and identity, but America gave me back both. I am about to become a US citizen: like Ammar, I now have a home – a home that is founded on identity and community.

招生官點(diǎn)評(píng)

我一直建議學(xué)生分享他們的故事,無論是積極的還是具有挑戰(zhàn)性的,都應(yīng)該以最誠(chéng)實(shí)的聲音分享。這份個(gè)人陳述揭示了許多主題:國(guó)籍、多樣性、誠(chéng)實(shí)、適應(yīng)性、變化,但最重要的是,希望和樂觀。這句話是發(fā)自內(nèi)心的,但不是壓倒性的情緒化。它帶領(lǐng)讀者踏上全球旅程,介紹具有挑戰(zhàn)性的體驗(yàn),同時(shí)也提醒我們第二次機(jī)會(huì)的價(jià)值。這份個(gè)人陳述的作者表明,脆弱和勇氣永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)過時(shí),歸根結(jié)底,我們都希望有機(jī)會(huì)重新開始。



文書三:寫下你感興趣的東西

Essay題目:Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, please share your story.

I found solace in poetry. Well, poetry recitation more precisely. Unconsciously, I have straddled a divide my whole life. My parents are immigrants, and when I started school, my parents and my peers made me aware of my differences. Unlike some of my peers, I had to act a certain way or prove I was capable of accomplishment to achieve greater opportunities. Naturally, I acclimated to my environment: I made friends with the white kids who hardly got in trouble, even though I looked different; I read and spoke exclusively English, even though Spanish came more naturally; at playtime, I would always make-believe that I married the princess, even though I would have liked just as much to have married a prince. I mastered the art of code-switching. In my mind, my vitality and my capacity to succeed in Not-Quite-Rural-But-Still-Agricultural Georgia hinged upon my presentation of palatability to my peers. Even still, I constantly obsess over my peers’ perceptions of me. Do I come off as too arrogant? Too overly-intellectual? Too “colorful”? Too silly and groundless? I work tirelessly to adjust for these possibilities.

Early on, I gravitated toward poetry as a medium for expression. Each day, I adjusted myself more and more to fit the expectations which infused my small southern town. In public, though outwardly approachable, I critically analyzed each move I made and word I spoke. In the literary arts, however, I could see things the way others saw them and identify myself with language that spoke directly to my experiences. In school, I was careful to never appear too Hispanic for fear of succumbing to a stereotype of being under-educated or uninformed; at home, never too flamboyant, lest my parents become suspicious that something is awry; always, never too outside-the-norm. In poetry though, I could become Oscar Wilde and Maya Angelou, taking on their plights and their triumphs. I could escape into Neruda’s wistfulness or Hughes’ sentimentality. I could, for a brief period, remove myself from my own reality, rife with incessant existential questioning, and place myself in another, divining from the diction and structure a sort of psychoanalysis to be applied to my conscientious understanding of human interaction.

When I was first assigned a poetry recitation in American Literature, I didn’t realize it would change my outlook forever. Eagerly, I seized the opportunity to express myself openly through poetry. Having shied away from theatre for fear of being categorized or negatively conceived, I readily accepted the challenge to explore my emotional and performative range. The recitation competition called Poetry Out Loud asks students to memorize poems and recite them in such a way which reveals their deeper meanings. I felt ready. I got to the regional-level competition during sophomore year, and my elation and excitement about the mere existence of this program resulted in my pursuant interest. At last, I found a medium, a wide-reaching community of support through which I might finally come to understand the purposes and effects of my struggles. Poetry allowed me to truly observe the wires in which we entangle ourselves and cemented the idea that I had for so long ignored: everyone shares struggles, be they large or small, and life is a quest to overcome them.

With junior year came the guidance of incredible and supportive mentors that led me to that stage in Washington, D.C. where I won third place nationally in the Poetry Out Loud recitation competition. I had never felt so accomplished and bursting with resolution. To myself, even if to no one else, I proclaimed resolutely that I am Latino, I am bisexual, I am unafraid, and I am intellectually charged with finding how best to help others who have faced doubts similar to those I had. Surrounded by the diversity and fiery passion of fellow solace-seekers, I began to undo the ties in which I’d confined myself.



招生官點(diǎn)評(píng)

選擇論文主題的最大挑戰(zhàn)之一是確定您要分享的內(nèi)容與您希望讀者了解您的內(nèi)容之間的區(qū)別。在我超過 15 年大學(xué)申請(qǐng)文書的閱讀中,他們中的大多數(shù)只是分享其他申請(qǐng)部分中提供的信息。這位申請(qǐng)人不僅分享了他們對(duì)詩(shī)歌日益增長(zhǎng)的熱愛,而且還幫助我們了解了他們所在世界的許多細(xì)微差別。通過這篇文章,特別是在第一段中,我們深入了解了他們?cè)谂m應(yīng)同齡人的同時(shí),與文化和個(gè)人身份的斗爭(zhēng)。通過講述這些非常個(gè)人的經(jīng)歷,學(xué)生將紙上的文字轉(zhuǎn)化為一種非常人性化的體驗(yàn),讓讀者能夠聯(lián)系并洞察他們是誰(shuí)。

除了分享個(gè)人經(jīng)歷和讓讀者與讀者建立聯(lián)系之外,還可以很好地利用他們的自然聲音。太多次學(xué)生覺得需要添加大詞并過度使用同義詞庫(kù),而不是僅僅使用他們每天使用的語(yǔ)言。你的智力將通過你的成績(jī)單和你的推薦來顯示,所以沒有必要使用你日常生活中所做的任何語(yǔ)言。這是一篇優(yōu)秀的文章的原因在于它是真實(shí)的,顯示出一定的脆弱性,并突出了萌芽的學(xué)術(shù)興趣。最重要的是,我覺得這篇文章不是為委員會(huì)的招生顧問寫的,而是一種自我表達(dá)的形式,突出了他們作為年輕人的個(gè)人旅程。

文書四:詩(shī)歌和散文可以提升你的文書展現(xiàn)

Essay題目:Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

ohHhh I uh umMm didn’t know

my aH parents n-never said they never tOld me

how was I supposed to…h(huán)e eventually dropped the

impersonation comes from the Latin words into & persona literally meaning into person. this man swallowed & spit back her strangled voice as if it was stuttered, cracked, unworthy of its words.

parents can be blamed for things,

but teen girls can never accept responsibility he said.

maybe he thought my voice sounded like hers too & maybe that’s why I didn’t ask a single question even when he did. he asked every ethnic person there what country they were from & he said something like

driving is as dangerous as living in a war zone,

no offense to the people from Syria in the back of the room

I don’t know exactly, because I was whispering to

Kayleigh in the beginning was quiet. I whispered to her this is terrible because I could hear her small puffs of disbelief & I realized she was the only person in the room I trusted, not even myself, because I was smiling & laughing even when he made her come up as a voluntold & he said to her that he always picked on the heaviest girl in the class for this exercise, & when she spoke her voice shook & cracked & did you know that it was me? That I was the voluntold? that I was so ashamed of circumstance I pretended it was Kayleigh? it died before it really came out, my voice, which has done impossible things, stood tall in courtrooms, refused to melt by the fireside as my family debated politics, raised itself from the grave when it needed to at cheap shots, at poetry slams, at two faces, my voice, this incredible thing, was reduced to speaking in

whispers seemed to catch his eye so we stopped eventually. something about needing that certificate, something about the power he had, something about how the guy who couldn’t speak English was calm in the corner… then Kayleigh whispered Trump 2020; I stood up. I calmly told this instructor off, I told him that he was ignorant, that he was wrong, that a sixteen-year-old teen girl knew more than he did. I left the class because I was strong enough to do it. I did, I really

did you know that I stayed until the end without so much as a word of justice? did you know it would be so easy to lie on this page? I crumpled my name tag when leaving & he said something like thanks or it was a pleasure but I ran quickly before his words could lick my skin again. I didn’t play music from empowering female artists on the way home because I was scared their lyrics had changed. I ran to my room, unraveled in the closet, plugged my ears & whispered I’m not real over & over again listening to my body hack at itself & I wondered how many calories I’d burn by crying & I wondered why I wasn’t saying it is not real & then I realized I was the monster in my

own closet. I was handed this legacy of justice from every woman in history’s bruised ribs, from the pounding of every gavel’s demand, from the set of my mother’s jaw. this man, he had a bat that smacked out shame, but the blood I left on the carpet carried the rage of bloodlines; I

scream back.



招生官點(diǎn)評(píng)

文章提示的最后一句是“of your own design”,雖然提示直接允許學(xué)生提交和/或?qū)懽约哼x擇的文章,但提示間接允許學(xué)生利用給定的空間進(jìn)行創(chuàng)作。創(chuàng)造性寫作和其他藝術(shù)作品一樣,是由作者和讀者共同決定的。有時(shí)這兩個(gè)定義是一致的,而在另一些時(shí)候它們是相互競(jìng)爭(zhēng)的,這是個(gè)人陳述的挑戰(zhàn)之一;學(xué)生應(yīng)該用創(chuàng)造性的形式寫文章,比如詩(shī)歌、歌曲或上面的文章。每個(gè)學(xué)生都決定了他們個(gè)人陳述的創(chuàng)作風(fēng)格和方向。你的文章傳統(tǒng)上是用段落和散文寫的嗎?或者你寫了一篇走在創(chuàng)作道路上的文章,冒著讀者對(duì)這段旅程不熟悉的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)?讓我明確一點(diǎn):這個(gè)問題沒有正確或錯(cuò)誤的答案。也就是說,在我為這篇文章寫反饋的時(shí)候,創(chuàng)作方向?qū)@個(gè)學(xué)生很有效。我們很少讀這種文體的文章,雖然有風(fēng)險(xiǎn),但卻相當(dāng)令人耳目一新,發(fā)人深省。如果你的文章風(fēng)格是真實(shí)的,那就值得冒險(xiǎn)。

這篇文章我讀了很多遍,每次都有新發(fā)現(xiàn)。有時(shí),我會(huì)找到前面問題的答案。其他時(shí)候,我被留給更多的問題,雖然在一個(gè)好奇的方式,而不是作家的批評(píng)。作為一個(gè)例子,我仍然在思考在文章中定義“模仿”的目的。在這篇文章中,作者是不是在模仿某人,也許是他們自己?或者這個(gè)選擇只是為了給說教者增加一層額外的特征?在文體上與眾不同的是,這種個(gè)人陳述讓你對(duì)逗號(hào)、符號(hào)和缺少大寫的標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)(或缺少標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào))背后的意向性感到疑惑。從一個(gè)詞組到另一個(gè)詞組的移動(dòng)微妙地允許時(shí)間流逝,每一個(gè)思想都以另一個(gè)開始而結(jié)束。這個(gè)學(xué)生打算利用埃默里大學(xué)廣受好評(píng)的創(chuàng)意寫作課程。知道了這一點(diǎn),思考的風(fēng)格和表達(dá)方式會(huì)產(chǎn)生真誠(chéng)的興奮,思考這個(gè)學(xué)生下一步會(huì)做什么。

這種個(gè)人陳述值得多次推敲,重點(diǎn)是它的風(fēng)格和內(nèi)容。學(xué)生的個(gè)人陳述是圍繞著自我宣傳的一刻展開的,是對(duì)女性賦權(quán)的反思,也可能是對(duì)青少年焦慮的反思。這個(gè)話題被用作更好地了解學(xué)生的工具。被認(rèn)為是軟弱和不負(fù)責(zé)任的學(xué)生,這篇文章展示了他們的行動(dòng)和語(yǔ)言的勇氣和使用自己的聲音的力量。對(duì)話的使用并沒有破壞個(gè)人陳述的流暢性,相反,它有助于性別歧視和可能的仇外心理的整體人格化。

這種非正統(tǒng)的方法可能不是每個(gè)人都喜歡的風(fēng)格。但是,歸根結(jié)底,個(gè)人陳述對(duì)作者來說應(yīng)該是個(gè)人的、真實(shí)的,而不是為了安撫讀者而寫的。另外,這篇文章立刻引起了你的注意,不是嗎?

文書五:使用特性化描述來展示你的寫作技巧

Essay題目:Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

I have to admit, when I first read the song title “Moanin'”, I thought it had certain innuendos.

“Are you serious right now?” I stare across the table at Parker, a six foot five eleventh grader with long red hair that cascades down his shoulders, a spoon in one hand and phone in the other, diligently playing World of Warcraft. He reminds me of a princess, in the weirdest way, he’s so…dainty. I always laugh thinking about the juxtaposition between his looks and his personality.

He rolls his eyes, delicately rests his spoon on the bowl of mac and cheese, places both of his hands on the table, and looks at me pointedly in exasperation.

“Yes. You have to listen to it. ‘Moanin” is the greatest jazz song to ever exist.” A piece of cheese flies off his lip and hits my face. I flinch internally.

“As if. Not that kind of song. I’m honestly disgusted, Parker.” He gasps in feigned shock, like we haven’t had this conversation 200 times before this moment and I try not to laugh.

“First of all, it’s not even about that. Second, you’re listening to it.” As he goes back to playing his game, I am left to ponder: How great could this song possibly be?

I know now that “Moanin'” by Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers might just be the greatest jazz record to ever exist. When those drums hit after the first chorus, they hit different.

I’ve always known that I love jazz. However, it never occurred to me how difficult it was to explain until I was attacked with the question: “What’s so great about jazz?” Suddenly, I was speechless. Why am I so drawn to jazz? After all, I am originally a classically trained musician. But once jazz entered my life (in the form of the godlike, ethereal Kenny G), I’ve never been the same.

In an attempt to answer this question that plagued me, I began listing out all the traits about jazz that I love: its vibrance, unpredictability, ever-changing nature, spontaneity, and yet its ability to be soul wrenchingly emotional. Suddenly, the answer hit me like Art Blakey’s drum set on the opening chorus of “Moanin'”: I love jazz because jazz is me.

When I think of jazz, I think of colors. So many colors, like a thousand rainbows were poured into a blender, showered onto a page, and translated into music. I see that color in my personality. I’m vibrant and colorful, and sometimes expressive to the point where there are so many things happening at once it’s hard to take in. That’s how jazz is. I often find myself listening to the same jazz records over and over, discovering something new every time. I’m passionate and bold, I’m sassy like Lee Morgan’s trumpet solo on “‘Moanin'”. Jazz doesn’t apologize for what it is, it just is. Likewise, I’ve learned to be unapologetic in who I am.

Jazz is unpredictable and spontaneous. When flashes of inspiration come to me, I dance in my room until 2 AM on a school night, the adrenaline of doing something so extemporaneous is enough to keep me awake. Furthermore, as a jazz musician, I have developed a remarkable ability to adapt to rapidly changing circumstances.

But my favorite thing about jazz, and my favorite thing about myself, is that it is ever changing. I’ve always said that in jazz, you never play the same song twice. Who I am today is a product of years of changing, learning, growing and evolution. Like jazz, I don’t strive to be perfect, I just strive to be my most authentic self.

So why am I so drawn to jazz? I guess because I see it in myself, I hear myself in the way it’s played. That’s the beauty of finding music that fits you so well, it becomes you.

招生官點(diǎn)評(píng)

當(dāng)我們花費(fèi)數(shù)月時(shí)間閱讀申請(qǐng)材料時(shí),我們的團(tuán)隊(duì)試圖在每個(gè)文字中看到人性。我們想了解我們的申請(qǐng)人,而申請(qǐng)的寫作部分經(jīng)常是我們可以做到最好的地方。由于作者寫的是爵士樂,這個(gè)主題顯然是真正感興趣的,我們能夠從這些文字中提取個(gè)性。作者風(fēng)度翩翩,通過生動(dòng)活潑的介紹,我們可以想象這個(gè)學(xué)生在我們的校園社區(qū)中。而且,在整篇文章中,作者的文筆細(xì)膩成熟,但依然坦率、腳踏實(shí)地。這篇文章讀起來好像這個(gè)學(xué)生正在和我們說話,分享一個(gè)關(guān)于與同齡人對(duì)話的故事。

在文章的后半部分,作者將他們對(duì)爵士樂的熱愛與他們的生活軼事融為一體。有時(shí),學(xué)生的話題和他們的個(gè)性之間的類比可能讓人覺得有些牽強(qiáng)。然而,在這里,作者的比較提供了對(duì)他們的習(xí)慣和想法的額外洞察。作者分享了申請(qǐng)材料中其他地方?jīng)]有的信息,例如他們的自發(fā)性和真實(shí)性,更不用說他們對(duì)爵士音樂本身的興趣。我們?cè)谡撐闹邪l(fā)現(xiàn)了這個(gè)申請(qǐng)人的興趣,并且通過這樣做,能夠更全面地了解這個(gè)申請(qǐng)人。

文書六:用你真實(shí)的視角

Essay題目:Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Over the past half-century, the crosswinds of social and economic change sweeping through Nebraska’s small towns have left me and my family, alongside many others across our state, straddling a tedious tightrope between the old and the new, the familiar and the foreign.

All my life, I’ve been shaped by the collision between the rural, small-town currents of my upbringing and the city-slicker world of tall buildings and traffic jams I’ve largely grown up in. By this, I don’t mean cornfields and mainstreets melting away under the pressures of urban expansion. I mean the collision between two vastly different worldviews—one deeply suspicious and distrustful of outsiders, manifested around me through my grandfather’s diatribes bemoaning the parasitism of immigrants or his deftness in dealing out words I’ve been taught to consider unspeakable, and the other warm and welcoming, centered around a household that counts inclusiveness as a primary virtue and has embraced the evolving nature of Nebraska’s identity.

To understand the tumult of emotions interwoven within this collision, it is critical to understand that, over the past several decades, rural blight has descended upon communities across Nebraska. As families like mine have emigrated to larger towns and cities in search of greater opportunity, rural populations have dwindled, and hospitals and businesses have shuttered. In addition—and particularly relevant to my experience of Nebraska’s rural crisis—a wave of major demographic shifts have left many communities across my state broken and hurting. From Schuyler to O’Neill, from Lexington to Fremont, increasingly large international immigrant populations have been caught in the chokehold of a vehement and metastasizing nativism. This fervent anti-immigrant sentiment, rather than promoting some distorted idea of cultural integrity, has left entire communities—old blood and newcomer alike—under the weight of suffocating suspicion and hatred as unprepared school districts buckle and ambush-like ICE raids tear families apart. The situation in much of rural Nebraska, to put it bluntly, is dire.

And so, this summer, determined to glean a more complete understanding of this issue and its effects on my family, I traveled to live and work on the family farm, which is managed primarily by my grandparents. The experience was instructive—in a time of trade wars and tariffs, I was reminded of the tremendous economic pressure under which farmers operate. But, far more eye-openingly, it gave me a new appreciation for the social and cultural strain bearing on rural Nebraska. For context, it is helpful to understand that the nearest town has undergone a transition from nearly homogeneously white to over 70 percent Hispanic in just the past three decades. Many evenings, as my grandparents and I sat down to supper, a soft vitriol would pervade the conversation as my grandparents exchanged worried comments about the new and burgeoning Sudanese population in town or the Mexicans working at the Cargill plant.

Welcome to racism in my world.

It’s soft, it’s private, and it’s the most barefaced form of racism I’ve ever encountered. It hurts me to know that two of the people I love and admire most in the world have been brought to hate their neighbors and blame them for the much broader issues facing rural America. It hurts me to know that many groups of people simply seeking security—people who, in fact, will likely prove vital to the survival of small-town Nebraska—are facing a chilling welcome in a state I am otherwise so deeply proud of.

Though prejudice might be stubborn, I am too. My writing on the subject has received national recognition, I care for refugee families through my school, I’ve corresponded with my elected representatives, and I’ve engaged in thoughtful, compassionate dialogue with my grandparents. It’s harder to hate people if you understand them, after all. I believe that education and reconciliation are vital to the recovery of my state and our broken communities, and I’m doing my best to facilitate, wherever I can, the beginning of this healing.



招生官點(diǎn)評(píng)

這篇文章寫起來不容易。對(duì)每個(gè)人來說,家庭和家庭都是復(fù)雜的,盡管有些人比其他人更復(fù)雜。很少有人談?wù)撟约撼砷L(zhǎng)過程的復(fù)雜性,更很少有人愿意公開分享家中晚餐時(shí)發(fā)生的種族主義對(duì)話。然而,這不是一篇激進(jìn)的文章。盡管使用了諸如家庭、愛情和敬佩之類的詞語(yǔ),這些詞語(yǔ)常常表達(dá)一種親近感,但作者還是寫了一篇有點(diǎn)遙遠(yuǎn)的文章。分享的每一條信息都經(jīng)過計(jì)算和測(cè)量,以便讀者對(duì)這個(gè)學(xué)生的環(huán)境有一個(gè)非常具體的了解。對(duì)內(nèi)布拉斯加州農(nóng)村的描述讀起來就像經(jīng)濟(jì)歷史學(xué)家的話,不一定是你平均17歲的孩子。

作者成熟而深思熟慮的語(yǔ)法無疑讓這篇文書增色不少?!癟he crosswinds of social and economic change”和“the chokehold of a vehement and metastasizing nativism”。這些是真正有天賦的作家的短語(yǔ),他們努力工作使每一個(gè)詞都能產(chǎn)生影響。這篇文書中我最喜歡的詞是最后一句:healing。經(jīng)過多次閱讀,這篇文章本可以有一個(gè)不同的,可能更明確,轉(zhuǎn)向。相反,我相信作者為這種遙遠(yuǎn)的語(yǔ)調(diào)提供了一種解釋,他們也在治愈。

以上就是今天給大家分享的6篇申請(qǐng)埃默里大學(xué)的文書,希望對(duì)接下來你的文書創(chuàng)作有所幫助。希望在文書方面有所提升的同學(xué)也可以和SAT君溝通。


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