File photo of Hannah the Mermaid in the Mermaid Lagoon exhibit at the Sydney Aquarium. The United States government has assured citizens that much like zombies, mermaids probably do not exist.

　　The United States government has assured its citizens that, much like zombies, mermaids probably do not exist, saying in an official post: "No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found."

　　"Mermaids -- those half-human, half-fish sirens of the sea -- are legendary sea creatures," read the online statement from the National Ocean Service (NOS).

　　The agency, charged with responding to natural hazards, received letters inquiring about the existence of the sea maidens after the Discovery Channel's Animal Planet network broadcast "Mermaids: The Body Found" in May.

　　The show "paints a wildly convincing picture of the existence of mermaids, what they may look like, and why they've stayed hidden... until now," a Discovery Channel press release says.

　　Conversely, the US government declaration offered no conclusive proof to deny the existence of mermaids.

　　The statement comes after another government agency, this time the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), declared there was no conclusive evidence for the existence of zombies.

　　The CDC had published instructional materials on how to survive a "zombie apocalypse," in what the agency now calls "a tongue in cheekcampaign to engage new audiences with messages of preparedness."

　　The campaign was followed by a series of cannibalisticattacks in North America.

　　In one such attack on May 26, a 31-year-old Miami man stripped naked and chewed off most of a homeless man's face.

　　The Twittersphere was suddenly alive with people talking about the real and present danger of a zombie apocalypse.

　　The CDC was quick to respond to allegations of corpses rising from the dead to eat the living.

　　"CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead," a government spokesperson wrote in an email to The Huffington Post.

　　While zombies would be a big problem, popular folklore holds that mermaids are relatively benigncreatures.

　　But the NOS statement associated the finned friends with more threatening mythological beasts.

　　"Half-human creatures, called chimeras, also abound in mythology -- in addition to mermaids, there were wise centaurs, wild satyrs, and frightful minotaurs, to name but a few," it said.

　　美國政府向其公民保證，美人魚在很大程度上就如僵尸一樣，很可能根本不存在。一項官方聲明稱，“沒有任何證據(jù)表明曾發(fā)現(xiàn)水生類人動物。”

　　“美人魚――那些半人半魚的海妖――只是傳說中的海洋生物。”美國國家海洋局的網(wǎng)上聲明如是說。

　　探索頻道動物星球欄目五月份播出了《真實美人魚：科學(xué)的假設(shè)》之后，負責(zé)應(yīng)對自然災(zāi)害的國家海洋局便收到了數(shù)封詢問美人魚是否存在的來信。

　　探索頻道的一篇新聞稿稱，《真實美人魚：科學(xué)的假設(shè)》節(jié)目中“展現(xiàn)了一幅極具說服力的畫面證明美人魚的存在，描述她們可能擁有的樣貌，以及為什么一直隱于世間……直至今天?！?/P>

　　相對地，美國政府的聲明卻沒有提供任何決定性證據(jù)來否認美人魚的存在。

　　在這份聲明發(fā)布前，另一個政府機構(gòu)――這回是美國疾病控制預(yù)防中心――宣布沒有確鑿證據(jù)證明僵尸存在。

　　美國疾病控制預(yù)防中心曾出版了一些指南資料教導(dǎo)人們?nèi)绾卧凇敖┦┤铡北茈y。而該機構(gòu)現(xiàn)在稱“這只是場不必當(dāng)真的宣傳活動，給新近聽說的人一些預(yù)防僵尸的信息?！?/P>

　　這場宣傳活動過后，北美發(fā)生了一連串食人案。

　　在5月26日的一次襲擊中，一位31歲的邁阿密人脫得精光，啃掉了一個流浪漢的大半張臉。

　　推特圈頓時炸了鍋，人們爭相談?wù)摻┦┤帐欠駮烧?，以及眼下是否有危險。

　　疾病控制預(yù)防中心很快便對僵尸從死人堆里爬起來吃活人的說法做出回應(yīng)。

　　一位政府發(fā)言人在給《赫芬頓郵報》的一封郵件中寫道，“據(jù)疾病控制預(yù)防中心了解，并未有任何病毒或情況會使死人復(fù)活。”

　　僵尸也許會成為一個嚴重問題，但流行的民間傳說認為美人魚是相對和善的生物。

　　但國家海洋局的聲明卻將這些身披魚鱗的朋友與更具威脅性的神話中的怪獸聯(lián)系起來。

　　聲明稱：“像吐火獸這樣的半人半獸生物在神話中也大量出現(xiàn)――除美人魚外，還有睿智的人馬、狂野的半羊人、恐怖的人身牛頭怪物，諸如此類為數(shù)不少?！?/P>

　　Vocabulary:

　　tongue in cheek:不可當(dāng)真的;無誠意的

　　cannibalistic:食同類之肉的;食人肉的

　　benign:和藹的;溫和的