托福獨立寫作中個人案例解析
來源：互聯(lián)網(wǎng)
小編：環(huán)球教育整理 568托福獨立作文匯總的個人例子怎么展開?備考的同學(xué)，你們知道怎么展開嗎?環(huán)球教育小編給大家?guī)硗懈＊毩⒆魑闹械膫€人例子究竟是怎么展開的，希望通能夠幫助大家備考。
請看下面2個例句：
1. Usespecific reasons and examples to support your answer.
2. Use clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details.
第一句經(jīng)常出現(xiàn)在獨立寫作題干的最后一句，第二句則是獨立寫作評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的第二條。可見在獨立寫作中，例子占據(jù)一定的比重，寫一個走心的好例子，有時候是我們提分的關(guān)鍵。
例子分很多種，有個人例子、名人例子、調(diào)查研究，還有排比論證。相對來說，個人例子比較容易把握。
平時在同學(xué)們的作業(yè)中，我會經(jīng)常遇到各種各樣不走心的例子。我們來分析一個寫法：
要論證：Doing part-time jobs can help university students earn pocket money.
[學(xué)生原稿]For example, once I took a part time job and earned a lot of money. With this money, I bought many things I like. That made me very happy.
這個例子論證無效，缺乏足夠的細(xì)節(jié)，說服力不足，往往很難得分。那么如何改善呢?
首先，我們將原文中表示時間的once描述的再具體一些，比如last summer/when I was a freshman;其次，將a part-time job具體化，比如在星巴克或者學(xué)校旁邊的一家餐館做服務(wù)生;再者，關(guān)于a lot of money，可以避開精確的數(shù)字，給到several thousand yuan，以及怎么花掉了這部分錢，比如買了自己最喜歡的吉他，都可以添加細(xì)節(jié)描述;在例子的最后結(jié)尾處，可以從自己的感受出發(fā)，比如表示自己因為做兼職賺了零花錢感到很開心，呼應(yīng)主題句，重新點題。
我們來看完善后的版本：
For example, this summer I took a part time job as a waiter in a local restaurant near my university. Two months later, I earned about four thousand yuan. With that sum of money, I bought a beautiful guitar and for the following few months, it will be unnecessary for me to ask my parents for pocket money any more. The experience of earning money from doing part-time jobs really made me happy.
這樣的例子在細(xì)節(jié)的描述上更加飽滿，條理更清晰，因此也更具有說服力，當(dāng)然能贏來考官為你打call啦。
再給同學(xué)們看一個例子：
要論證：Watching TV for a long time does harm to children’s eyesight.
[學(xué)生原稿]For example, because I used to watch TV for a long time, I got nearsighted and finally I had to wear glasses.
[完善后的例子]For example, when I was in primary school, I liked watching TV very much. I remember once I was addicted to the famous cartoon Tom and Jerry, which was quite popular at that time. It was so fascinating that I often sat in front of the television for more than 2 hours every day. Finally, about two months later I realized I got nearsighted since I could not see clearly the formulas my teacher wrote on the blackboard. At last, I had to wear glasses, which made me feel so uncomfortable that it took me several weeks to get used to it.
以上，相信同學(xué)們對個人例子的細(xì)節(jié)強調(diào)清晰了很多，在此強調(diào)一下展開個人例子時5個注意要點：
1. 主題相關(guān)性：必須扣題并且符合基本邏輯
比如：?? a little boy once watched TV a lot, and finally he got cancer……
2. 時間：具體到某年
比如 last year/when I was seven years old/when I was in primary school;
3. 地點：給到具體地方，并附加一定解釋
比如this summer I learned TOEFL at New Oriental, which is specialized in English training;
4. 特定名詞：不管具體或抽象，給到名稱及描述
比如提到website，以www.superlearn.cn為例，要給到具體的解釋：it is a popular website in China and designed by New Oriental to help students practice TOEFL online;
5. 個人感受：事件對個人的影響，一般做為總結(jié)
比如：it was a great experience to practice TOEFL on SuperLearn。
細(xì)節(jié)是寫個人例子的關(guān)鍵，我們對細(xì)節(jié)的追求，就是對分?jǐn)?shù)的追求。希望大家可以從本文中獲得思路，結(jié)合練習(xí)，追求細(xì)節(jié)，順利奪取目標(biāo)成績!
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